if you like me you must not know who I am
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
