He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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