Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
