I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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