I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
