I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Can Purell be used as lube?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
What a dumb baby whore.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize