I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
