listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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