I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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