toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
