he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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