he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
