I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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