so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
