Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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