i would punch a child for taco bell
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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