I wanna bring you to show and tell
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
