i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
