no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
