There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
