The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Michael Bay diarrhea
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize