Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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