True but thats because hes a fetus.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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