physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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