Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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