If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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