I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize