um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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