if only i could text you this smell
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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