I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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