first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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