We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize