This girl is more easily done than said...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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