Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
