you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
