Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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