yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
