they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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