why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Your cock deserves a montage
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
