dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
