I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
