I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
vagina is talking i cant
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
