Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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