i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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