I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
