sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
