I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
