The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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