I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
