I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
