I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize