do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize