How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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