Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
