just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
